Strategies for Loving Life, Even in Challenging Times -- 10/15/2025
I've learned a lot in this Cancer Journey, so I thought I would share my current thinking on how it has impacted my approach to life. I've though a lot about this over the past few months, and tried to boil it down to the main strategies.... Currently, I think the four key ideas I use to enjoy my life are:
1) Make peace with the idea that you will die (as we all will die at some point) and pledge to do the best you can to make the world a better place for your having been here. Once you have made such peace, you no longer need to fear death, you will have tried to make a positive mark on the universe that is eternal and can't be erased. You will especially have impacted the ones you love and those who love you (and those who have loved you) and those impacts ripple out into the future long after you've gone. It also helps that I am a Secular Buddhist and so value my spirit more highly than my ego, which I think of as ephemeral anyway. I don't believe in any personal afterlife; but if you do, that might make it even easier to make peace with the idea of your death....
2) Accept reality for what it is and open your eyes to what you have in the present moment, rather than what you would like it to be. The more clearly you see the present moment, the more you can appreciate what gifts it brings, and the more effective you can be in trying to bring more truth, beauty, and justice into the world. If you catch yourself complaining, that is a sure sign your focusing on what you don't have, instead of what you do!
3) Trust in the beneficence of the Universe and in your ability to try to handle any challenges that might arise. By doing this, you no longer need to fear the future. I made a choice in my medical team and I trust them completely to handle my care and to come up with new plans when complications arise. This frees me from having to "What if" myself into a worried state and I can focus instead on appreciating what I have. Having a good support system really helps build confidence in handling future challenges too; so yay for cultivating friendships and deeply caring relationships!
4) When painful or scary thoughts arise as they are wont to do, just sit with them and let them rise and fall. They always do fall if they are not encouraged by worrying thoughts. Then if you need to take action, do so; otherwise, let those thoughts pass and focus on what you are experiencing now in the current moment! I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with mild pain (from muscles that haven't been used making themselves known), but by force of habit I sometimes start worrying about "What if it is another cancer metastasis? What if something bad happens? ..." but then I catch myself, and let myself feel the fear as it rises and falls, like a wave; and I remember that I don't need to spend my time worrying, I trust in the universe and in my choices and in my ability to handle future challenges, and I have made peace with my death if that is what the future holds, so I do a body scan or gratitude prayer or progressive relaxation or some other meditation and peacefully go back to sleep!
----------------------------------------------------------------
1) Make peace with the idea that you will die (as we all will die at some point) and pledge to do the best you can to make the world a better place for your having been here. Once you have made such peace, you no longer need to fear death, you will have tried to make a positive mark on the universe that is eternal and can't be erased. You will especially have impacted the ones you love and those who love you (and those who have loved you) and those impacts ripple out into the future long after you've gone. It also helps that I am a Secular Buddhist and so value my spirit more highly than my ego, which I think of as ephemeral anyway. I don't believe in any personal afterlife; but if you do, that might make it even easier to make peace with the idea of your death....
2) Accept reality for what it is and open your eyes to what you have in the present moment, rather than what you would like it to be. The more clearly you see the present moment, the more you can appreciate what gifts it brings, and the more effective you can be in trying to bring more truth, beauty, and justice into the world. If you catch yourself complaining, that is a sure sign your focusing on what you don't have, instead of what you do!
3) Trust in the beneficence of the Universe and in your ability to try to handle any challenges that might arise. By doing this, you no longer need to fear the future. I made a choice in my medical team and I trust them completely to handle my care and to come up with new plans when complications arise. This frees me from having to "What if" myself into a worried state and I can focus instead on appreciating what I have. Having a good support system really helps build confidence in handling future challenges too; so yay for cultivating friendships and deeply caring relationships!
4) When painful or scary thoughts arise as they are wont to do, just sit with them and let them rise and fall. They always do fall if they are not encouraged by worrying thoughts. Then if you need to take action, do so; otherwise, let those thoughts pass and focus on what you are experiencing now in the current moment! I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with mild pain (from muscles that haven't been used making themselves known), but by force of habit I sometimes start worrying about "What if it is another cancer metastasis? What if something bad happens? ..." but then I catch myself, and let myself feel the fear as it rises and falls, like a wave; and I remember that I don't need to spend my time worrying, I trust in the universe and in my choices and in my ability to handle future challenges, and I have made peace with my death if that is what the future holds, so I do a body scan or gratitude prayer or progressive relaxation or some other meditation and peacefully go back to sleep!
----------------------------------------------------------------
I make no claims that this will work for anyone else, but for me these four strategies work extremely well and let me find joy and contentment even though I have stage IV lung cancer, which is a complicated and often fatal disease! I do hope that modern medicine will let me beat this cancer and live a long life, but in the meantime, I choose to live day by day, and appreciate life and the ones I love, while I can!
In some ways, I'm happier now with cancer than I was before. At least, I worry a lot less and appreciate life a lot more; and with luck, I'll be around another decade or two so I can try to bring more truth, beauty, and justice into our world, and it's clear there is a lot of work that needs to be done on those fronts!
Comments
Post a Comment